I Agree with my “Crazy” friend. Mostly

Kayode Faniyi

I cannot recall the exact class I was in, but I am sure it was in Junior Secondary School. Apparently, facing a wickedly burgeoning population, some smartass slit-eyed Chin in China had fashioned a solution: a belt that would shrivel your seminal vesicles, the glands responsible for producing the slime you convulsively eject after a pleasurable encounter with any of a hand or two, a buccal cavity or two, a vajayjay or two, and a backdoor or two.

Naturally, such a product would be hundred-a-yuan in China and so being Nigerians that we are, one of us, smirking that wicked smirk of soulless businessmen, decided to import these belts to Nigeria. Now, these belts were beauties, certainly unlike any of the shower we all wore prior to the sudden proliferation of these bealties. Plus, instead of impaling midriffs on belt needles, we could simply clasp the belt to fit. No…

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